So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize