she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
