She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
