Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you traded sex for a burrito?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
