i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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