Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
