Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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