Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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