Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
