I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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