the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
