don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
