Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
