Ketchup is God's man juice
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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