omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
