We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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