I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
