Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
