i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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