KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
