I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
