Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
