That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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