Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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