So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
