why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
