I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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