I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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