Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
