i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
How external is "for external use only"?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize