I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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