I bet he comes in French.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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