got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You know, be my cock's hype man.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
