I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
