I wish I only lived at night.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
