in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
