There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
