so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I would fuck him just for his dog
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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