i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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