Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
