hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
