Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
