he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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