I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
