Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Found your dick twin last night
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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