thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
