I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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