I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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