i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He shit in the fireplace
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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