who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I am mentally ready for anal.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
