Jerry, you need to find god
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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