I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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