1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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