This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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